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Roger Woods
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Stealing Airplanes!

Was it Fun? You Can Bet Your Ass it Was!!!


 

    Yeah, I know, a bunch of assholes hijacked airliners and crashed them into buildings.

    9-11.

    I never indulged in something like that and never would. But I had some fun years ago going to some airports, picking out a plane, and going for a joy ride. Single engines, twin engines, whatever happened to be available and unlocked. Hell, I was game!

    I had read a bunch of books about the theory of flight and flying aircraft. I decided to see if I could fly an airplane. Yeah, I was young, dumb, and stupid!

    In 1959, I grabbed one in Columbus, Ohio and flew it to Baltimore, Md. Came in for a landing at the Essex Airport (I think that was the name and location) and tore the sucker up. So much for my plan to make a perfect first flight!

    Had to make a cross wind landing with a Cessna 172. No big deal handling the cross winds, lined up on final, flaps set one half or three quarters,  and touched down in a full flare. I might have had full flaps cranked down. Been a lot of  years. I planned to come in hot and make a two wheel main gear landing then gently cut back on power and let the nose wheel gently touch. At the last second, I felt the crosswind start to lift the windward wing so decided to slightly drop that wing and decided to get on the ground as quickly as I could. Big mistake! I should have goosed it to full power and gone around.

    Whoops! The nose wheel collapsed and the plane flipped onto its back. At the last second, I saw what was coming and shoved the wheel forward but not before my head hit it. No big deal. Had a bruise for a few days.  I was lucky. As it started over, I killed the magnetos. Fuel spilled out of the tanks onto the runway. Fortunately it was dirt except for a paved road that ran across the runway. I landed past the roadway so no sparks ignited the fuel.

    Short version of what happened afterward: the FBI came to arrest my ass for transporting a stolen aircraft interstate.

    I got three years in federal court and was sent to the Federal Reformatory in Chillicothe, Ohio.

    Talk about a coincidence. There was an aircraft mechanic school in Chillicothe. If you completed the course, the Federal Aviation Administration would grant you an Airframe and Powerplant Mechanic license, good for life. Of course, I immediately applied for admission.

    No Way! Said the classification committee!

    Couple of months later, in comes a dude, named Demott from New Mexico, who had stolen an aircraft and had been specifically transferred by the Bureau of Prisons to take the A&P course. Bingo! I met him just after he arrived. He got assigned to A&P school. I applied again to the classification committee and they assigned me to A&P school, too.

    The course lasted something like 18 months. Two months studying the fundamentals of flight, how to weigh and balance an aircraft, how to use tools, etc. I lasted two weeks in Basic. The two instructors were a couple of former prison guards that had been given a crash course on fundamentals and sent into teach the basic class. Hell, I knew all they did and more-- they had never flown aircraft. Once the teachers learned about my background, they asked if I wanted to take the final exams to get the hell out of what was a boring basic class. Yep, I did, passed, and went into airframe class. Then completed engines. Took finals, passed the FAA exam and got my A&P license.

    So far, so good. Got paroled in 1961 and looked forward to a great career doing what I loved: working on aircraft, with the chance to fly them now and then on test flights!

    The best laid plans often go to hell, and all that crap...

    I'll be adding to this account over the days and weeks ahead. Did I stop stealing airplanes... no way in hell. Had some real scary adventures in later years.

    Like stole a Cessna 310 twin engine, Cessna 210... Stay tuned, folks. Some accounts like the time I failed to notice the door was not locked and my charts were laying on the right front seat next to the door... dumb ass me... I didn't notice the charts there, pushed open the door at 10,000' to slam it shut... Slammed it shut. Uh Oh! The charts had been sucked out the door...!!! What do we do next?


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